With loquacious folk, it would be unsurprising if you even found them talking to themselves on a fine afternoon. Better still, if there was someone who listens to and engages in active conversation with them, it would be a gab fest every day apparently. It is no unfair classification of Roy the Stud, in this group of verbal heroes.

Roy’s mother is his confidante and alter ego. And when it comes to his ways and means, she can be his nemesis. Ray is her name and her mind is one hell of an X-Ray. When she’s in search mode, nothing escapes the scanner. She is smug when she claims that she’s seen the world through its population and most of them have submitted a sample of their psyche to her. And our friend but adds to her belief in more than generous measure. While it is nice to share thoughts with people, the idea of blurting out everything may not be most appealing to everyone. Roy just about manages that, yes.

Sample this.

Roy: Mom; Mom: Yes; R: Planning to buy a Jeep; M: Yeah? What on earth for? R: To drive around, mom; M: Why not the car we already have? R: Jeep is good for taking off on cross country trips; M: When did you last do your cc trip? R: Last year; M: Very recently, I must say! And you did that in the one rented from the cottage you stayed in; R: But that’s because I don’t have a Jeep to go around in, mom. M: Who typically goes with you? R: Mmm, well, not anyone that I can think of; M: So you want to drive alone? R: You and dad can always give me company; M: High hopes! Get married and buy a truck if you please; R:Huh? M: Yeah! Grow up, kid!
This, as anyone would agree, is a conversation totally uncalled for. For one, he wouldn’t get a Jeep for himself in the near future even if his desire to do so burns bright. This is quite simply for the fact that there’s no space for a second vehicle in the patio of his house. Secondly, Jeep is not a family car and his family does not fancy a rattle-ride around the city, when they already have a comfortable little hatchback. Of course this small talk only helped his mom to fire the last salvo, serving to reinforce her assumptions about her son.
Roy works for a huge multinational, more in name than in character. His weekday evenings at home are spent chatting about office and his weekends, about books movies and women. So who’s his audience? There are no prizes for guessing. If Ms. Ray were to do some trend analysis, she would only have done fair to arrive at some conclusions. Some of her frequently heard statements as a result:

“The time you are using to read ‘Lonely Planet’, could perhaps have been used to brush up SAS”
“You see, it takes people like SV Rao to make an organization tick. If you can’t beat them, join them”
“So why don’t you talk to the girl who you said stares at you? That’ll save me the trouble of looking for a match! Did you say she’s a Brahmin?”
“Get talking to your VP in the US, and tell him you’d love to be invited to dinner at his place!”
“C’mon we only watch SaReGaMa, when you’re not watching Rajini flicks. You need to be fair!”
“Can you run our family next month onward?”

The other day I happened to meet Roy when he was busy typing out fiercely on his notebook. I asked him if it was a document of national importance he was creating, and he corrected me with ‘Global’. Was I being too curious to know what it was all about? He said not at all, as it was a brief statement that would go on his blog. The post is out now and reads as follows:

‘If you really are of the type who can’t keep their thoughts to themselves, key them in, like I did just now. It helps! Verbal transparency can leave you exposed top down!’